Dr. Morgan Dynes - Clinical Psychologist

Transcript

Voice Over:
Welcome to another special edition of Prescribed Listening from the University of Toledo Medical Center. For the next few weeks, we'll continue featuring UTMC providers sharing advice on how to start off 2022 right. This week, Dr. Morgan Dynes, a clinical psychologist and faculty member at the University of Toledo.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
My name's Morgan Dynes. I'm a clinical psychologist and I specialize in working with children, but I also work with adults. So I say that I work with individuals across the lifespan is how I describe that. I'm an assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry at University of Toledo. I also have a joint appointment in Department of Pediatrics. So I really enjoy teaching residents in both of those departments. And I provide psychological services to kids and teenagers and families.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
So when someone is starting off a new year and they're thinking about, "How can I decide if I want to make a resolution for this next year? Are they things about my life that I want to be different?" I think that it can be really challenging to not beat ourselves up. I think sometimes people can look back on the past year and our brain has a tendency to focus on all the things that we didn't do well, all the things that we wish should we be different instead of maybe giving ourselves the grace that we really need.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
Something that's important to know about the mind is that evolutionarily it is designed to not like change. That is what it is designed to do. That's how it keeps us safe. So things like resolutions can actually be kind of tricky, especially if we make them too broad or too drastic of a change from what our life currently is. Because if we are some one who, let's say for example, likes to eat sweets every day and we just love that. It just makes us happy. And so in 2022, we're going to say, "No more sweets." Our brain is actually going to get really scared and shut down because it's too big of a change. And that is what our brain is supposed to do to protect us.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
So really, if you're really trying to adopt a new behavior or change something for the next year, we kind of want to sneak up on our brain. So we want to make the change that we are deciding to kind of implement in our new year, we want to make it small. And that can kind of be frustrating because human beings also like to see change happen quickly. But the smaller our resolutions, the easier it is for our brain to not shut down and want to go back to status quo. So small manageable changes that may seem like not enough in the beginning, but the smaller you make it, the longer you're able to stick with it.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
So for example, things that can help your brain not feel so threatened. What about drinking a glass of water every day? Even if you drink more water throughout the day, planning on just drinking that glass of water is something that your brain is not going to notice. It's not going to seem like too big of a change. Or something like, we go back to the sweets example, someone who likes to eat sweets every day and they want to start to change something about that. Maybe they would start to change the amount of sweets that they eat. Maybe instead of five cookies, we're going to go down to four cookies. So making the changes small and trying to frame them in a way that's more positive instead of, "Oh, I want to lose a bunch of weight," or "Oh, I want to drastically change this thing about myself." You may want to phrase it to yourself in a way that is more accepting and more positive. So, "Oh, I want to start taking care of my body. I want to start moving my body in ways that feels good to me."

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
And remember, we're going to make it small so that our brain doesn't freak out. I'm going to add one thing every week where I'm moving my body in a way that I enjoy. Maybe it's just dancing to a song once a week that I enjoy. When we keep the pressure low, it's actually more likely that we're going to sustain change over time.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
I think that when you're, you're trying to develop a plan for what kinds of changes you want to make, something that can be helpful is thinking about your life in kind of like these broad categories. So most of these apply to pretty much everybody. So broad categories would be something like, we all have our physical health. That's a really popular area for people wanting to make changes. We also have our emotional health. You could also think of it as like your internal world, so the way that you think about things, the way that you feel about things. We also have our occupational health, so just our work life and what that looks like. Some people are in jobs that they love. Some people are in jobs that they hate. Other people have careers that fulfill them in a certain way. And other people are in jobs really because they just need the paycheck. There's other kind of domains such as spiritual health or financial health.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
So I think that when you're trying to come up with a resolution or a change, you can maybe think about those areas of your life and if there's something in one of those areas that, it's not the way that you want it to be, it's not bringing you the kind of fulfillment and stabilization that you want it to. And when you kind of have picked an area that's most important to you that you think is having the most impact on your life, whether that's positive or whether that's negative, I think that can kind of help you hone in. And when you prioritize that area and you think about a small change, it can kind of help it feel a little bit more organized so you can move forward.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
Now we're when it comes to thinking about setbacks, I think that we should all just assume that anytime you're trying to do something for a whole year, there's going to be setbacks because we're human. We're not perfect. And that's the scary and awesome thing about being human is that perfection is not possible. So there will always be times where you have this resolution that you're working on for the whole year and there's going to be times where it doesn't happen. Maybe it has to do with the sweets example that we talked about earlier. Maybe instead of reducing the amount of sweets that you eat, you have this special party that you go to and they have your favorite treat there and you're not following the resolution that you made a few months ago. Knowing that setbacks are going to happen and not beating ourselves up over them and giving ourselves some grace is going to help you stay motivated to just return. Return back to what your previous plan was. Return back to what your previous goal was.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
Something that can really help to give ourselves some grace is writing your goals down, writing the changes down that you want to make. You may think like, "Oh, I only have a couple. I'll remember them." But when you write them down and you put the date down that you wrote it down and you want to come back and reflect on them at the end of the year, a lot of people in my life that are successful with making these resolutions and implementing these changes, they write them down in a place where they're going to hold onto that. Maybe it's on your phone. Maybe you have a journal, whatever your special way is that you write things down. And at the end of the year, they look at them. And it's going to take you back to that place you were in January, 2022, when it's December, 2022, it's going to take you back to that place that you were, and it'll give you, I think, a really specific kind of opportunity to reflect on how it's gone. And then you can recognize all of the parts that you did well.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
I do think that the words that we speak to ourselves inside of our own minds and the words that we put out into the world, whether it's verbally or are we writing them down, whether we're creating art around our goals, I do think that those manifestations, whether it's verbally or visually can be really powerful. And it's I think important for people to remember that you're your own best cheerleader. There's probably people in your life that could support you, too. But any way that you can put positive thoughts and feelings and encouragement into yourself, it's much more likely that you're going to stay motivated.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
It can be really difficult to feel like you deserve to make this positive change in your life if you don't talk to yourself in a way that's supportive and positive. If you, go back to the sweets example, you eat more sweets than you planned on eating based on your goal. If all you do is tell yourself, "Oh, why didn't you have more control? What is wrong with you? You're never going to be able to do this. This happens every single year. You make this same goal every year and it's never going to work." Instead of saying, a more positive manifestation would be like, "You've done so great for the last couple months. This was such a fun party. You just were really excited. We can try again tomorrow. Why don't we look back at our," talking to yourself, "why don't we look back at the goals we wrote down and remind ourselves how motivated we were in January and we can get back on the horse."

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
Any day is a good day for a resolution. Your brain and your body and your psychological wellbeing. Doesn't know what day it is. It doesn't know the calendar. You don't have to wait until December 31st to start to make any kind of change that you want to make. Sometimes people like that fresh new feeling at the beginning of a new year. Some people get new planners. There's some things that can be tangible markers that help people feel motivated to do it now. But your habits don't care what day it is. They can be changed at any time. I think there's almost like a couple camps. Some people are very pro new year's resolutions and they love making them and they try and do them every year. There's some people who are kind of anti new year's resolutions.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
I would like to put out there to everyone, I wonder what it would be like if instead of, of making new year's resolutions based on what we wanted to change about ourselves, I wonder what it would be like for people to make resolutions about how can I accept myself for exactly how I am in this moment and embrace myself for the flawed, imperfect person that I am? And instead of trying to change something about myself over the next year and make it better, what if I tried to just love myself exactly as I am? And what would that make your year like if you chose to do that instead of trying to change something? Now that maybe isn't going to sit right with everyone, but I think it's something that we should try and consider as another type of resolution, if you will.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
I think that more people now than ever are having issues with their mental health, their psychological wellbeing, their internal world. COVID has been really hard on everyone for different reasons. We've unfortunately seen a lot of negative psychosocial outcomes from COVID. One thing being some researchers here at UT have done this, but looking at the increase of child abuse that's been reported and physical punishment that's been reported just since COVID has started, and that has a lot of negative impacts. But many areas, people are experiencing this increased risk, increased problems and increased awareness around mental health issues. So when it comes to trying to figure out where to start, that maybe you know that something's not quite right. Maybe you're having a lot of thoughts that bring you a lot of anxiety or a lot of thoughts that bring you down. Maybe you're feeling really unmotivated or like you can't concentrate. You're not sleeping well. You're eating certain kinds of foods that you know don't make you feel very good. Maybe you're not eating enough. Maybe you feel like you're eating too much.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
So what I would like people to know is that there's a lot of things that you normally talk about with a primary care doctor that don't seem like they would be related to your mental health, but they are. Because I'm a psychologist, I love therapy. I think it's amazing. Being able to find a therapist and engage in therapy is a significant privilege, and I'd be happy to talk more about that here in a moment. But I would want to encourage people to know that there are lots of things that you can start with that don't have to deal with going to see a therapist or starting psychiatric medication.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
Focusing on broad things like how much sleep are you getting. Number one, sleep is incredibly important when it comes to just how your brain and emotions are going to work together in order to help you function the best. Are you eating foods that make you feel satisfied and that are nutritious and that are helping you feel like you can concentrate? That is going to look different for everybody. Diet industry, the health and wellness industry is a billion dollar industry, so there's lots of ways to achieve that for yourself. Also things like caffeine and types of substances, so alcohol, tobacco, cannabis use. Assess what your use is of those things. Do you feel like those things are benefiting you or could they be causing some of the problems that you're noticing? Alcohol, I think is really glorified in our country and there's a lot of alcohol use that is appropriate and people can use it and have fun. And then a lot of other people are maybe struggling with how much they're using and it may be impacting their work product, their relationships.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
So I think that those are some other areas along with I'm sure other people on this podcast series have mentioned things like physical movement, exercise, finding ways to move your body in a way that feels good to you, those are some core areas that you can just start with to see how you're doing and see if those are areas you can start with first to improve your mental health.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
So when someone's thinking about, they may be ready to see a therapist for the first time, or maybe go back to therapy if they have tried it before, unfortunately the world that we live in is based a lot on insurance. So I want to be practical. People need to be practical. I think the most important thing maybe to start is contacting your insurance company and finding out what psychologists, what masters level clinical counselors, what social workers who do therapy are in network for you, because therapy can be expensive. So you want to make sure you're setting yourself up financially for a situation that's going to work well for you long term. The thing that's been interesting about COVID is while the mental health needs have risen drastically, the supply of therapists and psychologists has not been able to keep up. People can only complete these graduate level programs so quickly. So we're unfortunately in a place where there's a lot more people needing therapy than there are people who are able to provide that therapy.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
So I think when someone right now is thinking, "I really want to start therapy," having that in the back of your mind, that it could take some time and to try and not be frustrated. It's okay if you feel frustrated. I know I definitely would if I was trying to do that right now. But knowing that you aren't the only person experiencing difficulties getting into that type of mental health service. You're going to probably call some places that your insurance says are in network for you and they're going to have a wait list. I want to encourage you to put your yourself on that wait list because you'd be surprised how life happens. And 4, 5, 6 weeks may seem really far away, but before you know it, they're going to call you and say, "Your appointment's ready. You're ready to come off the wait list."

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
While you're waiting, maybe to get in to see a therapist, using the social supports that you do have available to you, people that are kind to you and that trust you and you trust them and that they can listen to you in a way that's nonjudgmental, absolutely. That's how human beings have got along before therapy became a thing is we relied on one another. Particularly people who have religious or spiritual views, if you have church or religious practices that make you feel supported, I think that those are places that can offer people a lot of comfort and reassurance and support during stressful times. And that's not true for everyone, but people who that applies to, I think that those areas can be really helpful.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
So I think also a few things to consider, especially if you're someone who's never been to therapy before, it can seem strange and scary and weird. Like, "What do you mean I have to go talk to a stranger about these very personal problems?" And you're right. It is kind of weird. You would never normally think that talking to a stranger about something personal would feel good or would maybe even be helpful to you, but that's actually what makes therapy work. What makes therapy work is being able to talk to someone who is literally only there to help you. They have no other skin in the game, so to speak. They are not a family member. They are not a friend. And they're able to have an unbiased, objective perspective to focus only on you. And that can be challenging, especially when you've been going through COVID and you've spent a lot of time with people and you kind of need some space from people and you've maybe had to be more flexible than you'd like to be or you have to listen to people a lot more than maybe you normally would. Getting to have an hour where it's just about you talking about all the things that are important to you and someone who has a professional training and background on evidence based treatments that can help people that have similar experiences as you.

Dr. Morgan Dynes:
I think that giving a therapist a couple sessions is important to try and get through the initial weirdness of sharing those intimate details and also figuring out if they're a good fit for you. Because every therapist has a different personality, has a different vibe. And every time I meet with a patient for the first time, I tell them that the most important thing when you're choosing a therapist is that you feel comfortable with them. You feel like you could trust them. You feel like they respect you. And you may not be able to figure that out right away. It may take two sessions, three sessions. Try and give yourself a couple times of meeting them before you make a judgment call on, is this person going to be right for me? But after a couple sessions, two, three sessions, if it's not seeming like a good fit, maybe you just have different personalities that aren't going to jive very well, feel free to go find someone else because it's going to be hard to be able to open up to someone if you don't really feel comfortable with them.

Voice Over:
That's all for this episode of Prescribed Listening from the University of Toledo Medical Center. Join us next week for another episode.